In my experience, it is as often a specific set of genetic traits exposed to a specific set of narcissistic abuse and environmental stressors.
It’s why it tends to show up in early childhood, and ‘get better’ as they get older and learn how to defend themselves and avoid the destructive people and environments that are gaslighting them into doing things that are decompensating for them (actually, for everyone - which is why normal people are often not in those environments). Or not, if they aren’t allowed to leave.
It’s also why the medication ‘stops working’ sometimes - the problem folks in the environment ramp up the abuse until the target is back in the confused/can’t remember what is going on state where they can be controlled.
When in an actually good environment, and directed in a way that they can/will do the things they need to do to take care of themselves appropriately, all of the memory issues, emotional regulation issues, etc. become quite manageable or even disappear. There is often a lot of PTSD though, which requires special help.
The challenge is that when abuse and destruction is present (but ‘not allowed to be seen’) from an early age, people develop protective blind spots for it.
It’s normal and ‘not abuse’, near as they can tell. And narcissistic abuse is all about not being seen - at least by anyone who can or will do anything about it.
And if it’s a parent doing it, seeing it requires rejecting a caregiver and role model - not an easy or often safe thing to do.
Depending on how long it was ongoing though, it could be years or decades to recover.
I concur completely with all lazide has written, and they'd get two upvotes if I had them.
Abuse and neglect in the home is often the genesis of childhood "mental illness" but the industry can do jack-all about the home life of children.
ADHD, bipolar, and PTSD are clusters of disparate symptoms, different with every child. They are chiefly the symptoms which annoy and inconvenience parents, caregivers, school teachers and administrators. Therefore, the drugging of children is oriented toward suppressing and/or eliminating these annoyances so that the people in authority can go about their business without having said authority challenged by uppity children who act out.
My niece was not yet in 8th grade before the Catholic school proposed to drug her as well, and I know full well what sorts of domestic troubles she had undergone throughout her short life. I pity the children who endure such things but can't escape them. What are we going to do, break up 60% of families because their parents suck and they are permanently damaging all their offspring?
It's tragic, and it's left me with the prospect of lifelong therapy to become normal, but there is healing and hope, and people do get better, despite the setbacks and damage caused by drugs, clinics, and hospitalization.
Thank you for adding your experience. I’d also give it two upvotes if I could.
One thing I would like to add - the medication can be the least bad option, if or when the situation is not actually addressable in a useful way otherwise.
When someone has bad pain, unless it meaningfully is helping them to have it, it’s cruel to not give them pain medication. It just makes everything else harder.
Same for ADHD meds.
Untreated ADHD is worse than treated ADHD in every significant metric, at least for any given moment, as fighting an already lost battle against circumstances outside of your control isn’t going to be better than finding a way to somehow tolerate or cope with them.
The challenge comes when the circumstances can actually be addressed in some other way that can actually make things better - leaving, fighting back (successfully!), having an authority figure with the actual strength and resources to actually help instead of making it worse, counter manipulating/lying, finding a way to take ownership of the shit and somehow make it work, etc.
Which, knowing the actual right course of action is nearly impossible for the person being victimized, and is rarely in the list of options being considered by said authority figure when it’s a kid involved. But, kids are resourceful and while we may not be happy with how they do it, for all of human history they’ve been figuring it out - or dying trying.
Without that, the medication just leaves someone stuck in a broken situation, albeit better functioning. Which is better than being stuck and not! But less than ideal.
ADHD treatment has so much better long term outcomes when it’s medication + therapy, rather than either just on its own, and I think that is why.
The medication can give someone the strength (chemical or not, it still helps) to actually do the other work and see it through. Even when it’s really hard and scary.
Nope, never saw his stuff. This is all purely from direct personal experience with 10+ ADHD diagnosed folks who I know personally. It’s quite striking what the patterns are when you see them.
That said, nature vs nurture, selection bias, etc.
It’s why it tends to show up in early childhood, and ‘get better’ as they get older and learn how to defend themselves and avoid the destructive people and environments that are gaslighting them into doing things that are decompensating for them (actually, for everyone - which is why normal people are often not in those environments). Or not, if they aren’t allowed to leave.
It’s also why the medication ‘stops working’ sometimes - the problem folks in the environment ramp up the abuse until the target is back in the confused/can’t remember what is going on state where they can be controlled.
When in an actually good environment, and directed in a way that they can/will do the things they need to do to take care of themselves appropriately, all of the memory issues, emotional regulation issues, etc. become quite manageable or even disappear. There is often a lot of PTSD though, which requires special help.
The challenge is that when abuse and destruction is present (but ‘not allowed to be seen’) from an early age, people develop protective blind spots for it.
It’s normal and ‘not abuse’, near as they can tell. And narcissistic abuse is all about not being seen - at least by anyone who can or will do anything about it.
And if it’s a parent doing it, seeing it requires rejecting a caregiver and role model - not an easy or often safe thing to do.
Depending on how long it was ongoing though, it could be years or decades to recover.