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> I'm really not convinced mental pain is much better than physical pain.

Yeah because it's a ridiculous conclusion you jumped to, where the only two options are violence vs "insults/passive aggressiveness/social ostracization". Those are not the only two options.

Teach your kids to listen to, understand and communicate their feelings properly.



I'm not sure this is a realistic expectation. Of course you want your kids to be perfect, but I have yet to see any parent succeed in such an endeavour.

I don't even think most adults can handle their emotions well enough for what you're suggesting.




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